First thing first, ever since the apple season was over I havent been eating the best and have been eating a lot more nuts and seeds together with raw chocolate to replace salt in my diet. My stool is dry as a giant almond with skin and imagine passing that through your colon. That doesn’t feel very nice eh? I have been drinking just a much water so it showed me nuts absorb water so much more. Also I got a 102 F (still have it as I type now) fever from this “raw” diet meaning fruits and veggies are the way to go *organic please* and the so called “raw” food that are dehydrated, like nuts and seeds can really be supplementary, otherwise you might end up like me. Of course I have been doing lot of raw fruits and hence my body reacted that way to it. If you started your raw diet with mostly nuts and seeds or dehydrated food you might feel different. But my experience has shown me one probably cannot live on that type of “fake” raw diet for very long before the body crash.
So after my emotional self induced (sort of) break down, I have been doing some reflections about how I felt when people do not love me the way I want them to which was mostly what I released. And today when I was walking in a supermarket, I saw a couple together at the frozen aisle and I saw the guy kissing the girl on the head. It looked like a natural thing people do but at the same time I felt as if he was doing it because he wanted to get a loving reaction for himself. It might seem a little cynical but if you truly ask yourself honestly, how long can you keep up with loving actions if the person you are doing it to shows no response of returning love?
ragsnair.files.wordpress.com
It was then I realised every day people do a lot of things to others just so they can receive love from the external world as if it only means something if the loving actions come from someone else other than ourselves. It confuses me to think that love matters only when it is given to me from someone else. I think most people would understand that if we are speaking of opportunities here in life, we mostly would all agree that it is so much better and sensible to create your own opportunity rather than just wait around for one to come around or to hope that somehow someone would suddenly decide to give yon opportunity for a life time. So why would we do this to ourselves when it comes to love?
images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com
Perhaps this is so because somehow we feel a need for validation. But that confuses me even more. Havent we been trying to promote self love, self worth and self confidence for decades trying to build children with a stronger self esteem? So it makes little sense to me that we “rely” on others in terms of acquiring love. It was with all these conflicting points which went through my mind within actually just a few seconds that I decided to kick out all the middle man much like getting my nutrients right from the plants rather than eating the cows which eat plants lol I put my hand on top of my heart and I pet my heart lol I loved it like how I would like another person to respond to me with their love except that there is no “need” to outsource this action when I can do it all on my own. It was instant and satisfying and it felt right. Now I am not saying just because I can love myself I care nothing about others’ love or advocate separation from people. It is just that when one needs love it seems logical for that person to give it to themselves. That is self love and self respect and with that love and respect from others should come. What do you think? Have you loved yourself today?
I am sorry in advance if you feel like my writing is a bit hard to understand today. Afterall, I m writing with a 102 F fever lol.
As Always, Stay High through Loving Yourself First. There is no reason not to. š
My Journey back to Love 